Lord, please bless my future partner with the patience to withstand my madness.
If/when God grants me the right to birth or mother a child, I’d like to name my baby ‘X’.
Assigning a ‘X’ is a common practice among Black Muslims. The idea is to relinquish your given name and replace it with an Islamic name provided by the Nation of Islam. It is not until you’ve demonstrated, through action, that you are a decent, respectable person that you are deemed deserving of a more honorable name.
While I do not identify as Muslim and hope that I’m not appropriating this sacred culture, I can’t help but be intrigued by the idea of “earning” your name.
Your name is who you are; it’s your destiny and legacy.
That’s a lot of pressure to put on a parent and it feels- for lack of a better term- icky for two people to decide your destiny, despite all that we will do to craft a path where you, future Baby X, can fulfill your destiny while becoming the person you want to be while building the legacy you want to leave.
As a Feminist, I believe in autonomy. Not just for me, but for everyone.
Is it too extreme to go as a far as letting my Baby X pick their own name? I don’t know. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t.
I guess this will be one of many conversations my future partner and I have, together.
Until then (which is, hopefully, no time soon),
p.s. While we wait to find out if/when there will be a Baby X, I invite you to tell me about your name. Was there a method behind the madness? Do you feel as if your name defines you and your legacy?
Let me know.