It’s about 7:00 p.m. on November 15, 2016. It’s dark out and I am walking to my car, parked about two blocks away, after leaving the Wilmington Public Library. I hear:
“What size are your panties?”
You want to know the size of my panties? Well, I’ll say “zero” because as the Queen of TMI, you should know on any given day there is a 50% chance that I’m not wearing “panties,” and on days when I don’t have to “Adult” there is a 100% chance that I’m not wearing a bra either. Why you ask? No, it’s not because I’m a radical Feminist; which I am. It’s because I can do what ever I want to do, as long as it’s not hurting myself or others.
As well, I literally see no benefits gained from wearing undergarments.
- They’re uncomfortable;
- They leave garment lines;
- They’re a waste of money;
- Your vagina is a living, for lack of a better word, thing that should breathe and
- I’m also the Queen of being socially unacceptable when I feel like it.
This is all beside the point because, my friend who shouted this statement at me, my answer is: “It’s none of your F-ing business.” [p.s. Sorry for the language Grammy]
I’m not sure why you felt entitled to speak to me- a human- in that manner. Oh wait… I know. I think it’s called… uhm….Patriarchy and Male Sexual Entitlement. Yes, that’s right.
Patriarchy: a system of society or government in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it.
Male Sexual Entitlement: the belief that men are owed sex on account of their maleness.
To my friend who shouted this statement at me, not only are you hurting me, you are hurting other human beings, harassed because of their marginalized social identities AND because you’re likely egocentric, this may resonate most with you: you’re also hurting yourself.
Your decision to live and act on this delusional sense of entitlement makes my once safe space unsafe. And that is absolutely, positively NOT okay. It also confines you to what we know as the “Man Box.” I’m not obligated to educate you. I encourage you to research this on your own. But know, this “Man Box” promotes and condones men’s violence against women (also, not okay) and contributes to the declining well-being of boys and men (you guessed it. Also, not okay).
A wise person once said, “You better chickity-check yo’ self before you wreck yo’ self.’Cause Patriarchy and Male Sexual Entitlement is bad for your health (and humanities health too).” Please, for the love of God, listen to him and the Feminist adjustments I made to improve his quote.